Ever since I moved (*cringe*) here, I've had good weeks and bad weeks as far as homesickness goes. Erm, well...the homesickness is always bad, but sometimes it really does stick out more prominently.
This week has been a somewhat bad week...mostly because I haven't been doing a lot and really have no other thing to think about than the life I'm missing. Mostly, I've been able to drown my homesickness in keeping busy, and thus keeping my mind on other things for a brief amount of time. This works some times...but not all the time.
My enemy right now is wishful thinking...thoughts come into my mind about a life that I don't have. Friends that I can't touch, or talk to, or hold. And even though those thoughts seem lovely...they destroy me.
These wishes and thoughts give me temporary contentment, but then I hit reality. I am in Katy, Texas. I am 600 miles away from dear, dear friends. I am not where I want to be.
The more I think about it, homesickness really is a chronic illness. It won't go away easily, and there's no possible way that we can cure it ourselves.
Thankfully, God cures it.
This morning I stayed home from church because I was sick. I felt so alone and I felt as if everyone who could comfort me was out of reach. I immediately thought of one of my favorite verses...
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
This verse has helped me countless times...and it really helped me today. Because even though my friends are out of reach, my God is not. My God is with me. My God helps me.
So today, I am thankful for God's hands.
Because even though I'm in Katy, I'm still where He wants me and is holding me.
Because even though I'm 600 miles away from everyone, God is with me and has me in His constant embrace.
Because even in long sleepless, dry-eyedless, shoulder-to-cry-on-less nights of missing people, God still gives me the reassurance that He won't let me go.